Annual Valentine's Day Stoning of a Happy Couple

It's almost that time of year again. I can feel it creeping stealthily up. First, it silently infiltrates the candy aisle in the grocery store. Then it's the barrage of diamond commercials on TV, whose frequency is beginning to rival that of the Christmas season. And then come the web ads. On my e-mail page, on my Facebook page, everywhere. And now that I've googled "Valentine's Day" on my home computer, it will only get worse. Sure, I could try to ignore it. But I like pink. And hearts. And chocolate.

Valentine's Day. It's the only day of the year (besides Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, birthdays, weddings, parties, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Thursday nights) that goes out of its way to make singles feel bummed about being single. It's such a jerk, encouraging people to revel in their non-singledom. The entire holiday is pure schadenfreude.

For people who are casually dating, the only appropriate response is to pretend this holiday doesn't exist and isn't happening. Valentine's Day is for people who are in Love. Valentine's Day is not for people who are kind of dating someone they might like a little bit but isn't cool enough/good looking enough to actually introduce to their friends or admit they are dating. THIS is the silently suffering demographic that is actually in need of recognition by a holiday, not couples.

So this year, I will be giving couples a taste of their own medicine and attending the Annual Valentine's Day Stoning of a Happy Couple, held in Fort Collins, Colo. which brings comfort and joy to singles everywhere. OK, well, I would be going to that if it was a real event...

Or, if you're feeling especially bitter, read Monday's NYT City Room Blog about the darkest tales of Valentine's Day from divorce lawyers.

Valentine's Day fun facts, according to History.com:

Named after one or more Christian martyrs, by the middle ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in France and England.

One-hundred forty one million Valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year after Christmas.

Approximately 85 percent of all Valentines are purchased by women.

The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland, who made the cards with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures.